13 Online Dating Safety Tips For Men
Meeting women online has never been easier but it comes with a few risks; namely people who try and take advantage of guys. What are online dating safety tips for guys to protect themselves from fakes, spammers, and bots?
Unlock the Secrets to Successful Online Dating with The Digital Dating Blueprint
Unlock the Secrets to Successful Online Dating with The Digital Dating Blueprint
It's your responsibility to protect yourself. The odds of it happening are very small (depending on the site), but it's best to be somewhat on guard. I go into detail on this in this blog post how to protect yourself, How To Spot Scammers On Dating Sites And Protect Yourself.
It doesn't matter if you're on big sites like Match.com and OkCupid or newer sites like Bumble or Happn, always take precautions to protect yourself. Here are 10 online dating safety tips to use as guidelines. Remember; It's better to be safe than sorry.
1. Use An Email Address Dedicated To Online Dating
One of the first online dating safety tips you must follow is to not use your personal email for anything related to online dating. Create a Gmail account which you will use only on dating sites.
For one thing, dating sites have been hacked in the past. Not only was Ashley Madison hacked in 2015, but POF was targeted by hackers as well. The sole reason they were hacked was to steal the private information of their users.
People generally use a few email addresses and have them linked to everything; their banking and financial information, social media, Netflix account, Amazon, etc.
People also usually share the same passwords across all these services so don’t use the same email address from your dating site as you do all these other services, and by all means, don’t use the same password.
And for goodness sake, don’t use your work email address for dating sites. Companies monitor your emails so don’t risk losing your job because you use your work email on OkCupid. You can create a Gmail account quickly so don’t risk it.
2. Protect your identity
Never do the following:
- Never use your last name on your dating profile or messages.
- Don't share your personal email on your dating profile.
- Don't share your phone number on your dating profile.
- Don't list the name of the company you work for.
- Never include your home address (yes, people do this).
- Don't share the exact job you have; for example, say "lawyer" instead of Intellectual Property Lawyer.
Remember this; anything you share on your profile, someone can put the pieces together on Google to find who you are. For example, using your full name, job title, and college it would be easy to find more things about you online.
3. Don't click on links in messages or profiles
There are times someone may send you a link in their message or on their profile. Click at your own risk.
4. Keep an eye open for red flags
When reading a woman's profile or responding to message keep your open for red flags or things that aren't normal. There are telltale signs you can use to identify a scammer including:
- Bad grammar
- Someone immediately asks for your personal email address or number.
- Someone asks you to join an external website
Below is an example of a message from Zoosk where a "woman," asked for my phone number immediately. Yes, occasionally a woman is direct and will ask for your number, but the nature of this message is fishy. I didn't respond, and within hours the profile was removed from Zoosk. Be careful when someone asks for your number immediately.
5. Don’t Use Pictures Of Your Kids
Here’s a scary fact, Statistics Brain shares that 10% of sex offenders use a dating site to meet people. I can’t tell you how many times I see men post photos like this on their dating profile:
You don’t know who is looking at your dating profile photos. In fact, as early as 2007, Online Dating Magazine, the consumer watchdog publication for online daters, issued a warning to single parents about sex offenders who use dating sites.
Their number one tip; “Never post photos of your children in your profile or anywhere online.”
I went into more detail on a blog post I wrote here; 2 Reasons You Should Never Use Photos Of Your Kids On Dating Sites.
Keep your kids of your dating profile photos.
6. Be Mindful Of Your Photos
Use common sense with your photos. Don’t use photos showing things that can be looked up online. An address visibly showing in front of your house as an example.
One thing I see a lot is pictures of cars with the license plate clearly showing. First of all, you shouldn’t use pictures of your car, period! But hey, if you feel the need to do it, that’s your call. Seriously, don’t do it. No woman is going to see your car and think “Wow, I gotta meet this guy!”.
Some guys use pictures of their cars. Note how these guys show their license plates in their dating profile photos.
Odds are it’s not a problem, but it’s better to be safe than sorry.
You shouldn’t use photos on your dating profile that you post on your social media accounts. The reason is that someone can use sites like TinEye or Google Images and use the photos you use on your dating site and search for you.
7. Never give money to someone
There are millions of men on dating sites which unfortunately results in unscrupulous people trying to take advantage of them. The main culprit; money. Although rare, it does happen.
Scamming people on dating sites is so common that the FBI has issued warnings about online dating scams with their own online dating safety tips.
I just shake my head at anyone who gives someone money off a dating site. If someone asks you for money, just delete their messages and report them to your dating site. This could include requests for money for:
- Plane tickets.
- Medical emergencies.
- Cashing money orders for them.
- Request for your bank account information.
Don't give money. EVER.
A few online dating safety tips Eharmony shares about protecting yourself from handing money over to fakes include:
- NEVER give out your credit card number or bank information.
- NEVER send money to someone you meet online, especially by wire transfer.
- NEVER share your Social Security Number, mother's maiden name, or other private information that can be used to access your financial information.
You have ZERO protection if you decide to send someone money. It's almost impossible to reverse these type of transactions or trace the money.
Here are a few things to keep an eye out to avoid being caught by a scammer asking for money:
- Keep an eye out for inconsistencies in stories that women tell you.
- Beware of women who have 1 photo or no photo at all on their dating profile.
- If someone is unwilling to meet you, that’s a red flag. You’re on a dating site to meet women, not become a chat buddy.
- If someone is telling you how much they love you or miss hearing from you within 4 emails, that’s another red flag.
- Consistent spelling/grammar errors in messages can be an indication of someone from another country trying to take advantage of you.
- Be wary of women contacting you who aren’t located near you.
- If they aren’t willing to give you a phone number to talk/text, it’s another red flag.
In the end, go with your gut. Remember, NEVER give someone money off a dating site.
8. Google them!
Dating sites don't do criminal background checks, so it's on you to protect yourself. Some sites are better than others at getting rid of dubious fake profiles but still, some click through the clacks.
One of the most important online dating safety tips is to do some sleuthing when you get a woman's email address or number; use the internet to your advantage. Type their name, email, or number into Google to make sure they're on the up and up. You can use Facebook as well to search out someone.
I Google or Facebook each woman I meet, and it's saved headaches. I once found a woman who was "single" was actually married, and one time I entered a number, and it took me to her "Backpage" ad. Yes, she was a prostitute. Needless to say, I immediately messaged her "no thanks" and didn't look back.
You may be wary of Googling or Facebook stalking someone, but I can assure you, women do the same with you. I covered how women look up their partners in this blog post; How Facebook Stalking Can Wreck Your Date Before It Even Starts.
9. Meet In Public For Your First Date
When meeting someone for the first time, it’s vital you pick a public location. It goes without saying; don’t invite someone over to your place for a first meeting. You’re strangers. And don’t go to her house either.
Keep your phone in your pocket and make sure it’s fully charged. Avoid meeting somewhere remote too. Be safe. Be smart.
10. Let at least one friend know
Let one of your friends know you’re meeting someone for a date and where you’re meeting. Believe me, women are letting their friends know they're meeting you.
Just text a buddy, family member, or roommate and let them know you're meeting a woman for the first time, and where you're meeting for the date.
11. Protect your stuff
If you have to excuse yourself for any reason, take your belongings with you to the bathroom or if you need to go make a phone call.
Never leave unattended personal belongings such as wallets or jackets with pockets that may contain things which could reveal personal information about you; credit card, ATM receipts, or your driver's license for example.
A few dating sites recommend ordering a new drink when coming back to protect yourself in the event your date puts something in your drink.
12. If The Woman Lied To You, Leave
When you meet someone for the first time, and she doesn’t look like her picture, it’s time to go. You can be somewhat polite and say “No thanks,” or you can excuse yourself and head to the door, do what you gotta do.
Here’s the thing, she lied to you. Who knows what else she lied to you about. She disrespected you and deceived you with photos that looked nothing like her.
What else is she going to lie to you about? Don’t stick around to find out. Exit and don’t look back.
13. Don't get drunk
A drink is fine for your first date but know your limitations. Don't get trashed. Not only will you make a bad first impression, but you'll be susceptible to being a target.
When you're sober, you'll keep a clear mind, stay alert, be respectful, and keep your decision-making skills on point. There is no problem meeting someone for coffee as a first date.
Final Thoughts
In the end, one of the most important online dating safety tips is to trust your instincts. It's better to be safe than sorry.
If something;s "off" go with your gut. I've had times where something didn't feel right in email communication or phone call, and I immediately ended it.
If something seems to good to be true... it is. I recently had an attractive woman tell me to send my email to her off POF, and without thinking, I did. I was immediately subjected to daily emails for weeks which were clearly from a spammer.
It's up to you to protect yourself. Follow the online dating safety tips above and you can sleep easy.
Any thoughts about these online dating safety tips? Leave your comments below.
